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Marriage Fidelity Day
Online Discussion Forum

Talking Points for Marriage Fidelity Day Faith Communities

Marriage and the solemn promises which create the bonds between spouses have been intimately tied with worship since ancient times. Today we celebrate faithfulness in mind, body, and spirit to those promises and we take the stand that an affair is not a love story.

Infidelity is at epidemic proportions in our country. Peggy Vaughan, researcher and author of The Monogamy Myth tells us that infidelity occurs in at least 60 and up to 80% of all marriages in the US. Her latest research shows that online infidelity is on the rise with women straying from their marriage vows in higher numbers than ever before.

Infidelity destroys families. It is the number one presenting problem in couples seeking professional assistance and is the hidden cause of many divorces. Men and women caught in the addiction of an affair will throw away home, family, career, faith, and reputation as the high of the infatuation clouds their ability to think and act in a way that is rational and ethical.

Infidelity imbues the next generation with the valueless idea of throw away relationships and instant gratification. It teaches our children that commitments are not to be honored and that promises are nothing more than empty words. Infidelity robs the children of the planet of the security of their childhood and the integrity of their adulthood. It sends strongly mixed messages that cannot fail to harm.

Affairs are fantasies built on the vision of “happily ever after,” a fairy tale vision that denies the work required to build a strong and joyous union with another person. Most affairs end when the affair partners’ fantasy is shattered and the realities of daily life set in. When an affair ends in time, the marriage can be saved, healed and nurtured to a place of strength and joy.

On September 15 we officially celebrate fidelity to our marriage vows and we remind ourselves of the need to be vigilant. Maintaining a strong and happy union is one of the best ways to protect our marriages from the tragedy of an affair. But, because we know that affairs can happen in the best of marriages, we also need to be strongly aware of the threats to marriage and take proactive steps to avoid those pitfalls.

  • As many as 8 in 10 marriages are affected by infidelity
  • Most affairs end – very few last more than 2 years
  • Of those that go on to form long term relationships even fewer survive
  • Only 1 in 100 affair relationships create lasting marriages

Today we stand on the threshold of a national drive to change the cultural view of marriage and infidelity. We will do for infidelity what MADD did for drunk driving and the anti-tobacco league did for smoking. Imagine a world where infidelity is understood for the health risk it presents. Imagine a day when we are routinely asked by the restaurant hostess whether we want smoking or non – cheating or faithful - seating. Imagine a day where taking a stand right now reaps the benefits of ethics and integrity for our children. We stand on the threshold of that day – and together we can make it happen.

Each of us is only one person. As Margaret Mead says so inspiringly, “Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

I am asking you today to join this drive. Take a stand. Speak out with compassion and strength when you see an affair in the workplace, in your family and in your church. Challenge those who are caught in the tragedy of an affair to do the right thing and recommit to their marriage. Let the media know that an affair is not a love story and that glamorizing infidelity either fictional or in the lives of celebrities tears at the fabric of our families and our society. Support the Marriage Fidelity Day Proclamation by contacting your governor. Plan an event, march in a rally, share this information with a friend, family member, or coworker.

And most of all protect your own marriage by doing whatever it takes to make it strong and healthy. Be aware of the risks – and avoid them. If you are having an affair, end it. Today. Seek help – not in shame and embarrassment but proudly as you take this courageous step back towards your marriage and your integrity.

Today is the day to renew your vows to each other. Today is the day to take a stand.

Marriage Fidelity Day events in your community - Include dates, times, locations. Visit www.marriagefidelityday.org for more ideas for events and celebrations.
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