• Home




• Get Help >

  • Hire Penny Today
  • Coaching Center
  • Bulletin Board
  • SYMC Girls' Night Out
  • Email Inter- mediary Services
  • Mentor Services



• Get
  Informed >

  • Infidelity Center
  • Statistics
  • Research
  • Success Stories
  • Articles
  • Musings
  • Blogs
  • Links and Resources
  • Q/A
  • Infidelity Tips
  • Media Kit



• Get
  Educated >

  • School of Coaching
  • Infidelity Series
  • Email Intermediary Training
  • Moderator Training
  • Mentor Training
  • Bookstore
  • SYMC Speakers' Bureau



• Get Active >

  • Calendar of Events
  • Marriage Fidelity Day
  • School of Coaching
  • SYMC Chapters
  • Volunteer



• Get Stuff >

  • Bookstore
  • Affiliates
  • SYMC Stuff
  • Shopping Cart



• About SYMC >

  • Company History
  • Penny's Bio
  • Board of Advisors' Bios
  • Additional Bios
  • Contact Us
  • Press & Media



• Expand the Village - Tell a Friend




• Glossary




• Site Map




• Search




• Privacy Policy

Dear Penny,
There are many things my wife does that I really don’t like. If I try to talk to her about it, she says I just want to control her. I’m finding I just want to stay away from home. ML

Dear ML,
First let’s define control. Control is attempting to make someone DO something. So if you are insisting that she stay home, clean the house, or have a particular kind of job, those would be considered control.

On the other hand, in marriage, you have a right to expect that your partner NOT do things that you find offensive.

Part of your problem may be the way in which you are addressing the things that annoy you.

When you speak to your wife about these things, be sure that you go to her with a smile on your face. Do so at a time when you are calm and relaxed.

Tell her that you have a problem and ask her if she would be willing to help you with it. Tell her how you feel about the things she is doing. Suggest an alternative, and ask her how she would feel about that. Ask her for ideas.

If you can keep the conversation pleasant and courteous, then there is a good chance that the two of you can work together to find alternatives that make you both happy at the same time.

If you find that cannot have this discussion without losing your temper, then those are issues that need to be addressed before any other.

Best wishes,
Penny R. Tupy