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Glossary of SYMC Terms and Abbreviations

(What the heck does that word mean?)

BoA - Board of Advisors
Coach
Coaching
EI(tm)
HP - Healing/Recovery Phase
IP - Intervention Phase
Mentor
NC - No Contact
PP - Protection Phase
RP - Reconciliation Phase
SoC - School of Coaching
The Village
Village Gathering (occasionally called BB i.e. bulletin board)
Villager

BoA - Board of Advisors -
Advise Penny and give significant input on the policies and direction of SYMC. Enforce those decisions as needed throughout the organization.

Coach - SYMC Certified Professional Coach -
A coach who has passed the first phase of the International Association of Coaches and has completed the course outline of SYMC's SoC and passed the two part certification exam.

Coaching -
A sophisticated form of teaching which expands the client's awareness of the internal and external roadblocks and speedbumps in the way of reaching the goal
Assists in designing and supporting an environment which reinforces and drives the desired change
Dependant on a level of expertise of the coach in his or her chosen field
Expertise is education and experience based
Occurs in the context of deeply engaged conversations which venture fearlessly into sensitive subjects
Solves problems and manifests change faster than the client would have done alone

EI(tm) - Email Intermediary -
Providers who act as information flow facilitators for couples who are separated and in Protection Phase. In plain terms an EI(tm)  facilitator does exactly as the name suggests. They receive information via email from each spouse, remove the emotional and non-essential information, and then forward the essential parts on to the other spouse as concisely and succinctly as possible.

HP - Healing/Recovery Phase -
Recovery is forever. It is the choices we make in the moment which lead us closer to or away from our goal of a joyous and fulfilling marriage. It is one day at a time.
During this phase, the wayward and betrayed spouses are working toward rebuilding their lives together first addressing the destructive behavior that led to the major rift and then the underlying conditions that were present in the marriage prior to that time.

IP - Intervention Phase -
A two prong intervention approach to infidelity, other addiction, control, abuse, or neglect in marriage. Intervention is directed both at the destructive behavior in an attempt to negotiate its end and at the marriage in order to improve the conditions and interactions between the couple. These two interventions should occur simultaneously as much as possible.
Intervention in the destructive behavior is made up of confronting the behavior and the spouse. In the case of infidelity exposing the affair to those people in the couple's life who are likely to have the most influence on the straying partner. And finally negotiating an end to the behavior itself.

Intervention in the marriage requires addressing one's own destructive habits, learning to be honest in a way that is both respectful and courteous, overcoming a habitual tendency to avoid conflict, and honing one's own negotiating skills.

The goal of Intervention Phase is to end the affair.

Mentor -
A student in the SYMC School of Coaching who has passed the marriage and infidelity phase of the school curriculum and has moved into coaching practicum with supervision.

No Contact, NC -
Cessation of all contact between partners during Protection phase. Also permanent ending of all contact between affair partners and the people surrounding them.

PP -Protection Phase -
Following the Intervention Phase, Protection Phase is a time of complete separation from the offending spouse. During this time the betrayed/hurting partner focuses on him/herself, working to detach from the pain of the issue in the marriage and to recharge one's inner reserves. This is the time to get a life! Hang out with friends (not of one's sexual preference) who are advocates of the marriage. Reinvest in a forgotten hobby or take up a new one. Work out at the gym. Enjoy one's children.

Protection Phase is meant to protect the betrayed/hurting partner from the pain of dealing with the affair or other destructive behavior on a day to day basis. When done well, it allows the betrayed partner to find a place of calm while the straying/offending spouse is making a choice about his/her life and marriage.

Protection Phase also protects the straying/offending mate from the inevitable lashing out the betrayed partner will do when the pain becomes too much and energy levels are low. It preserves the dignity of both spouses during what is likely the most difficult time either of them will ever face.

Finally, and most importantly, Protection Phase protects the marriage. It allows the hurting spouse breathing room and creates a buffer that keeps the willingness to stay in the marriage alive longer than if s/he were confronted with the pain of the mate's betrayal every day. Without Protection Phase, the betrayed/hurting spouse soon becomes the greater threat to the possibility of healing the marriage.

RP -Reconciliation Phase -
The phase during which the straying/offending spouse explores returning to the marriage and chooses to come home. This time is filled with negotiation and agreements about the healing phase of the marriage. This is the time when conditions and precaution designed to protect the marriage in the present and in the future are created and implemented. This phase is fraught with the roller coaster ride of emotions. Following an affair the straying partner is usually experiencing withdrawal from the affair partner and tends to blow hot and cold about the marriage. Which in turn triggers an enormous amount of resentment on the part of the betrayed mate. This phase needs to be handled with a strong sense of gentleness mixed with compassion and resolve. When the betrayed mate has been in a well executed Protection Phase getting through this time is much easier.

SoC - School of Coaching -
SYMC's training program which is the first in the world to combine the art of masterful coaching with tried and true marriage healing strategies.

The Village -  
The global community of dedicated individuals who advocate for marriage in partnership or as part of SYMC's ongoing work.

Village Gathering -
SYMC's online discussion forum. This forum is unique in that not only do I post there but the SoC students and mentors do as well along with SYMC's Board of Advisors. In addition our moderators "The Mod Squad" are trained in SYMC's concepts and methods and are available to give basic advice and to point Villagers in the direction of further help. Villagers who show an in depth level of understanding of the concepts and an ability to help others with good advice are nominated and a voted on as Elders.

Villager -
Members on the Village Gathering, SYMC's online discussion forum.
 
 

Acronyms and Abbreviations for the Village Gathering

 

A - Affair

 

 

AP - Affair partner

 

 

BF - Boyfriend

 

 

BIL - Brother in law

 

 

BP - Betrayed Partner

 

 

BS - Betrayed Spouse

 

 

BTW - By the way

 

 

D-Day - Discovery Day (of the affair)

 

 

DD - Darling Daughter

 

 

DS - Darling Son

 

 

EA - Emotional affair

 

 

EI - Email Intermediary Provider or Service (see glossary above)

 

 

FIL - Father in law

 

 

GF - Girlfriend

 

 

H - Husband

 

 

HP - Healing Phase (see glossary above)

 

 

ILY - I love you

 

 

ILYBINILWY - I love you but I'm not in love with you

 

 

IMO - In my opinion

 

 

IMHO - In my humble opinion

 

 

IMVHO - In my very humble opinion

 

 

IP - Intervention Phase (see glossary above)

 

 

LOL - Laughing out loud

 

 

MIL - Mother in law

 

 

MLC - Mid life crisis

 

 

MM - Married man

 

 

MW- Married woman

 

 

OC - Other child (of the WP and AP)

 

 

OM - Other man

 

 

OMW - Other man's wife

 

 

OP - Other person (affair partner)

 

 

OPS - Other person's spouse

 

 

OW - Other woman

 

 

OWH - Other woman's husband

 

 

PA - Physical affair

 

 

PP - Protection Phase (see glossary above)

 

 

ROTFL - Rolling on the floor laughing

 

 

RP - Reconciliation Phase (see glossary above)

 

 

S - Spouse

 

 

SAHD - Stay at home dad

 

 

SAHM - Stay at home mom

 

 

SSM - Same sex marriage

 

 

SO - Significant other

 

 

STBX - Soon to be ex (spouse)

 

 

W - Wife

 

 

WP - Wayward (or wandering) partner

 

 

WS - Wayward (or wandering) spouse

 

 

 

 

 

The Village Gathering

 

 

 

 

 

  
 
   
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